1 – Erm. I disappeared. For more than a month. Life got a bit weird. Well, it has been weird for a while now. But, it got weird + I got sick of faking that it wasn’t weird + I stopped cooking, all of which sort of tumbled down on top of me. I been feeling a lot like everyone is depending on me every second for the past few months, and a lot had to go. Including blogging. Because it was just one more thing that was being forcefully checked off my to do list. Sort of like when I’m feeling overwhelmed so I put easy things on the to do list – like – “eat breakfast” < which we totally know is going to happen regardless.
2 – The main thing that’s been happening in my life is that I’ve been a wife to someone with bipolar. Which I talked more about a few months back, here. And I could totally fake that this has all been easy and that we’re breezing through it and that our life is totally normal, but that would be a lie. The truth is, every day is utterly exhausting right now, for both of us. And lying about it is, most of the time, even more exhausting. Which is one of the main reasons I essentially dropped off the radar. Finding something positive (lies) to say each week was too hard. And talking about how hard things were/are was overwhelming. So I just did nothing. It is mainly exhausting because we don’t ever know what kind of day we are going to have. We don’t know if we can keep plans that we’re making in the future, or this afternoon. It’s exhausting because I often feel like I am the one who is responsible for everything. Are bills getting paid? Is the house getting cleaned to a decent livable state? Were meds taken? When is the next doctor’s appointment? Did the cat get fed? Did I eat? And this isn’t even factoring in thinking about tomorrow – or the next day – or 3 months from now. Let’s get through right now. Of course, not every day is like this. And the bad days are getting less and less. But I feel as if we’ve been in survival mode since November, and survival mode doesn’t lend itself to much more than the basics.
3 – We are doing okay. I promise. Life just isn’t easy, for him, or for me, or for us. But we’re staying on top of trying new medicines. And hopefully we will find the magic combination soon.
5 – I also (finally) completed these blue socks (although the color in the river-picture is much more accurate) – they kept getting way sided by funky weeks of no knitting – but they are done! I am finishing up a few other projects before I start another pair (gasp) but I’m pretty excited about the next pair I have in mind 🙂
6 – I have also added two new essentials to my summer bag of tricks, Chacos and an Eno Hammock. Both of these things I have been eyeing for years, and I finally took the plunge this year, since I’m spending more time at home while working.
7 – Speaking of work, it is going quite lovely. Especially from the back porch. But – in all seriousness, we are on the cusp of some majorly exciting things and big growth. We’ve been incredibly busy – and I’m loving it.
8 – I am also loving snuggle time with this little Nephew-bug – who is almost 3 months old (WAAAHHT). He’s bringing so many giggles to our life over the past three months – but also made us feel really awesome about the idea of adopting school aged children (instead of newborns). 😉
10 – Hopefully I’ll be making some more regular appearances soon enough. Who knows, maybe I’ll even start cooking food that doesn’t come straight from the freezer again 😉
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